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vendredi, avril 10, 2026
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Where was ChatGPT when the Western markets fell?

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DeepSeek’s new AI tool does pretty much the same job as its many U.S. counterparts, but it’s a lot cheaper.

Robots’ Coffee Break

AI bosses beware: There’s a new chatbot in town.

Chinese company and U.S. stock markets’ worst nightmare DeepSeek has launched a ChatGPT-like AI model called R1. The new tool does pretty much the same job as its many U.S. predecessors, from ChatGPT to Open AI and Midlifecrisis (only one of these is made up). But this one is cheaper. Waaaay cheaper.

Making less expensive but still functional copies of popular items found on Western markets is not something Chinese companies are known for, so everyone was shocked. Distraught, even. *Gasps in American*

And people lost a ton of money, too: It seems that U.S. stocks dropped significantly after DeepSeek’s announcement (a concept Declassified fully understands and definitely did not need to Google), sending shockwaves through the markets (not the farmers’ market downtown, Declassfied is told. That one is still doing fine, thanks for the fact check, editors.)

What this means for global economies and tech industries remains to be seen, though the most urgent question is: What about Europe? When will the EU get its own stock-plummeting AI toy?

Maybe our leaders can help — sure, they are not exactly known for their technical prowess, but next week could present the perfect opportunity to prove us all wrong.

The bloc’s heads of states are having an “informal EU leaders’ retreat” on Monday: Why not use this corporate-inspired event to create a brand-new app?

Picture it.

President of the European Council António Costa leads a creative workshop on design thinking to come up with a product strategy in the morning, promising La Piola’s pizza and diet coke for lunch.

After the food coma, the EU’s top diplomat Kaja Kallas takes the lead and sets up a charade-like team-building activity that will help the leaders identify a name and brand identity for the app. (They will come up with something serious and dull because they are real adults with adult-like ideas, but Declassified has a suggestion: BubbleBot or ChatVdL — they’re both yours to use for free, Ursula. We don’t want royalties; we do it for the Union.)

And finally, it’s not a proper corporate retreat without an inspiring but pointless speech by Her Royal Highness and Empress of Europe Ursula von der Leyen, who will use all the buzzwords she can muster to motivate the team to perform even better in 2025.

Unleashing the magic of leadership, one summit at a time.

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